Worst Films of the Year

I watched over 120 films, and hear are the ten worst, starting with the “Best” of the bunch:

10. They’re Watching

  • The ending is batshit insane, if it wasn’t for the end of Sausage Party, the Ending to They’re Watching would be the most insane ending of the year. It’s almost worth watching because of that, although the 80 minutes of clunky buildup, bad acting, and detestable characters, are not worth the poor visual effects pay off

9. Maggie’s Plan

  • I couldn’t stand listening to three rich white people complain about their minor problems and how horrible life is for one more minute.

8. Morgan

  • You won’t see the twist coming, but that is not worth the boring story, poorly choreographed action, and contrived plot.

7. Cell

  • You can almost feel Cusack and Jackson not wanting to be there, they’re in pain and it’s no wonder why. The story is slightly interesting, but it isn’t plausible, and it’s delivered in an incredibly boring way.

6. The Forest

  • A horror movie should equal out to be boring and uninteresting

5. Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

  •  How do you take an idea that seems so great, and make it one of the longest, self indulgent, uninteresting, frivolous superhero film of the last ten years. DC has a long road ahead of them.

4. Sausage Party

  • Over-sexualizing the food world isn’t humor, there needs to be actual jokes in your humor. Sausage Party is filled with jokes that two 13 year old klids would come up with around a campfire.

3. Yoga Hosers

  • Too absurd to be taken seriously, not funny enough to be taken as a joke. Just plain stupid, through and through.

2. Cabin Fever

  • The original is a cult classic, not great but creepy and smart, but we didn’t need a shot for shot, literally word for word, remake.

1.Ice Age: Collision Course

  • The original is forever sullied in my mind now, after watching the last two in the series that will not die. it’s all slapstick and childish games, and no heart. It deserves the title of worst film of the year for taking characters I once loved and tarnishing them.

Honorable Mentions: Ratchet & Clank, The Evil in Us, Arrowhead, The Veil, The Boss

Most Disappointing Films –

  • Suicide Squad
    • I found Suicide Squad to be fun, if nothing else, but there was potential here for this to be a welcome shot of life into the superhero  genre
  • Hail Caesar
    • The Coen brothers may have had fun watching this, but it definitely didn’t resonate with the audience like their other films have.
  • The Magnificent Seven
    • What could have been good Western fun, comes across more like a cheesy satire of the genre.
  • The Secret Life of Pets
    • all the ingredients for a good kids film were there, but it couldn’t quite get off the ground
  • The Shallows
    • I enjoy shark films as much as the next person, but the logic flaws in this film put too much of a damper on my enjoyment.
  • Snowden
    • It’s evident it was too soon for a film to be made on this subject matter, we’re not far enough removed from the situation to enjoy something like this thoroughly. especially since you’ll know every detail if you saw last years documentary “Citizenfour”
  • Sing
    • So many great Voice/singing talents in a been there, done that story
  • Café Society
    • Woody Allen continues to prove he makes one for him, and then one for us. This one is for him.
  • Central Intelligence/Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
    • Great cast in each film, brought down with non-existent or silly humor
  • Miss Peregrines Home for Peculiar Children
    • Tim Burton is just phoning it in now, this feels like someone mimicking old Tim Burton films, and not very well.

Worst Characters in a Movie ­-

These are the characters that brought the movie down, irritated & frustrated me, and stuck out enough to make me remember them for their terribleness. In Alphabetical Order:

  • Alex (Dylan Minette) – Don’t Breathe
    • Let’s be honest here, *Spoilers* his death came as a pleasant surprise. He was whiny and love struck in the worst way.
  • Bailey (Ty Burrell) – Finding Dory
    • An irritating beluga whale with powers to see things hundreds of miles away. It just gives children the wrong idea of echolocation.
  • Calvin Joyner (Kevin Hart) – Central Intelligence
    • I have tried hard not to jump on the Kevin Hart hate train, but this film doesn’t really help that. Central Intelligence puts his character in the role of whiny loser, and it doesn’t work.
  • Efram Diveroli (Jonah Hill) – War Dogs
    • Jonah Hill can play a white, rich cretin well. It’s scary.
  • Gunter (Nick Kroll) & Lance (Beck Bennett) – Sing
    • Two irritating characters that really brought this movie down for me. an archetype and a cliche respectively.
  • King Louie (Christopher Walken) – The Jungle Book
    • In a film full of talking animals, This scene is the only scene that didn’t only take me out of the film, it lifted me out of my seat and shook me like a giant orangutan.
  • Maggie (Greta Gerwig), John (Ethan Hawke) and Georgette (Julianne Moore) – Maggies Plan
    • Three idiots complain for 2 hours, I couldn’t hate the three of them more.
  • Pete the Bartender (Michael Rapaport) – Sully
    • A small character, you might not remember him, but you can’t tell me his scene wasn’t egregious and clearly untrue.
  • Seok Woo (Yoo Gong) – Train to Busan
    • Well he may redeem himself in the end, it wasn’t worth the entire build up of an annoying character
  • The Entire Cast of Sausage Party
    • Read above in “Worst films of the year”

Thanks for Reading!

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One thought on “The Worst and Most Disappointing of 2016

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