by Mitch Burns
2014 is over, it’s time to take a look back on what I consider to be the Worst movies of 2014 and the most disappointing. A bad film is honestly a sad, sad moment; in most cases it means money lost, talent squandered, and my precious time wasted, when it could have been spent on something much better.
The “Worst Movies” of 2014 are just that, 10 films, chosen out of more than 100 movies from 2014 ,that I saw, which I consider to be the most atrocious and terrible of the year. The “Most Disappointing” movies of 2014 are the movies I had high hopes for and looked forward to, just to have my high expectations squashed. “Most Disappointing” can, at times, be a bigger upset than my “Worst Movies” list because I was obviously looking forward to these films for a reason. Whether it be the cast, director, story, etc, I was intrigued, and then I saw these things go to waste. Now that we understand the rules, Lets Begin:
Worst Movies of 2014
I actively try and avoid the bad ones, but sometimes it’s intrigue or friends dragging me to see it, that ropes me in. Not much is worse than watching a bad film, you feel as if you’ve wasted your time, for me it’s time I could have spent watching an older film that I’ve yet to see.
A few films almost made it on this list, but lucky them, they narrowly escaped. Films like the exorcism/cop movie “Deliver us From Evil” starring Eric Bana, which was a bore. “I’Frankenstein” could have been here, if it weren’t for the mildly amusing characters, and how how I would have loved to have “American Sniper” here, out of pure anger over the praise it is undeservedly getting. My last (un)honorable’s mention go to “Maleficent” and “Hercules”, which are pretty bad, but I had to limit it to the ten worst…
10. The Purge: Anarchy (D-)
One night a year, the government allots a 12-hour period where all crime is legal. Sounds interesting right? Think of the politics surrounding this situation, how it would affect our society, and who would and wouldn’t be involved! Did you think about it? What you thought about is probably ten times more complex than what the creators of “The Purge: Anarchy” have lazily scrambled onto the screen.
9. Pompeii – (D+)
I literally couldn’t remember a thing about “Pompeii“, and it’s about a VOLCANO WIPING OUT AN ENTIRE ANCIENT CITY SET IN 79 A.D. The film is as bland as they come, and with such interesting source material you’d think making that would be a hard thing to do…
8. Divergent – (D+)
It’s difficult to harp on this film when everyone around me seems to adore it, but it is one of the most inconceivably built young adult worlds to date. Nothing in the film makes sense, it’s a mystery as to why anyone would live in a world like the one “Divergent” has set up. On top of that, it’s filled with terrible acting (Zoe Kravits, Jai Courtney, etc.), horribly developed characters, and is ultimately dull, boring and predictable.
7. Zombeavers – (D)
After the success of films like “Piranha”, I had hopes for more of the same. The film starts of with one of the funnier scenes I’ve seen all year, but sharply declines after that. “Zombeavers” ditches any semblance of what could have been a dark comedy/horror, and switches to an unfunny, schlock-fest. Instead of picking either humor or horror, or a mixture of both, it decides to be nothing… nothing but a waste of time.
6. Sex Tape – (D+)
I’ll admit to not being a huge Cameron Diaz fan, but I can be easily swayed, as I did quite enjoy most of 2011’s “Bad Teacher”. Pairing her up with Jason Segel again seemed like and easy choice, as they seemed to be have some form of chemistry. Not only do Diaz and Segel not have chemistry here, in “Sex Tape” they brutally work against each other, to the point where I found myself rooting for a divorce. Rob Corddry and Ellie Kemper are the only reason for the + on the end of my D.
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – (D)
Why can’t they leave my childhood favorites alone! “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” worked so successfully in the 80’s and 90’s, that you would have to put some actual thought into recreating it. It’s difficult to make something old, new again, when you try to rejuvenate it with everything that makes today’s cinema terrible, such as horrible dialogue, bad acting, silly jokes and Micheal Bay explosions.
4. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – (D)
Marvel taking Spider-Man back is great news, seeing as Sony hasn’t done anything half decent with Spider-man since the last Spider-Man 2, with Tobey McGuire. The wonderful chemistry between Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield can’t save the film this time, as it could barely do it in their first outing. “The Amazing Spider-Man 2″ is cinematic trash, stuffed with explosions, terribly written characters and a script so messed up you’ll half expect characters from other films to come traipsing through.
3. Into The Storm – (D-)
“Into the Storm” has all the bad CGI, horrendous acting, over-the-top drama, and dreadful dialogue you would expect from a bad Made-For-TV movie. Yes, I understand how mean that is to say about Made-For-TV movies.
2. Annie – (D-)
I am vigorously reading through my notes, trying to understand why I didn’t give “Annie” an F, I look back with nothing but absolute hate towards this movie. The only portion I remember enjoying was Rose Byrne, although she is likeable in almost anything. Foxx, Wallace and Diaz absolutely ham it up, and not in a good way. The music is ripe with auto-tune, making for absolute terrible renditions of classics. The tone is all over the board, and everything is so loud and pumped up, it gave me a headache. That’s right, “Annie” is actively an annoying film.
1. A Million Ways to Die in the West – (F)
I have watched “Family Guy” and “American Dad” since the very beginning, spent hours laughing at McFarlane’s humor. I own “Ted” on Blu-ray, and have watched in on several occasions and been quite content the whole viewing. “A Million Ways to Die in the West” has almost ruined those for me, and anything else Seth MacFarlane touches. I’ve stopped watching “Family Guy” and “American Dad” because of it, I hope I can go back to them, but for now I just need some time. “A Million Ways to Die in the West” is unfunny to the nth degree, what makes it worse is that you can see everyone actively trying, including some of Hollywood’s greatest (Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, etc.). I need this movie removed from my brain.
A couple of these entries could have made my “Worst of” list, like #5 and maybe #1, but they were had enough good going for them. Most of these 7 films aren’t bad per se, but they were a huge disappointment, in my eyes.
7. The Judge – (C-)
Why I was looking forward to it: Honestly, the only reason I was looking forward to it was Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Duvall, acting side by side, in a drama that looked extremly interesting.
Why it didn’t Work: While I did enjoy many moments of the “The Judge”, it’s ruined by cliche’s and movie tropes, and suffers from a overlong script, crammed with every story from every lifetime movie you’ve ever seen.
6. This is Where I leave You – (C+)
Why I was looking forward to it: Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Jane Fonda, Rose Byrne, Connie Britton, Kathryn Hahn and, of course, Adam Driver! All in a family dramedy, that looked like an absolute riot.
Why it didn’t work: Anything that might have been slightly funny was in the trailer, it’s melodrama central, and they can never get the tone quite right.
5. Tusk – (D+)
Why I was looking forward to it: Kevin Smith directing a mysterious comedy/horror, had me quite intrigued.
Why it didn’t work: Wasn’t funny, nor was it scary.
4. The Interview – (C-)
Why I was looking forward to it: Franco and Rogen had me intrigued from the moment I saw a poster, I’ll watch Rogen in anything, but I was never over-the-top excited. Then, all the hype happened, and I formed a lot of interest, and like the rest of the world, I just had to see it!
Why it didn’t work: Franco plays a completely unlikeable character, who made me quite frustrated and turned off by the end. Beyond a few funny moments, one involving a tiger, the film has a small amount of laughs, and script problems that could have been easily solved.
3. American Sniper (D+)
Why I was looking forward to it: Here is another film where the hype actually had me hyped. Clint Eastwood hasn’t made a good film since “Million Dollar Baby”, so I was never too stoked to see “American Sniper”. Then, everyone around me started praising the film, it was making loads of money, and I couldn’t wait to see it.
Why it didn’t work: “American Sniper” is completely devoid of art and talent, besides Bradley Coopers stellar performance. It’s full of cliche’s, boring plot choices, no tension, Misogyny and jingoism. I already wrote a full review here, so take a look.
2. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 – (C+)
Why I was looking forward to it: “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” is almost an A grade movie, and I’ve really enjoyed the series, and all of it’s characters thus far.
Why it didn’t work: It’s one part, an unfinished story. Stories should have a beginning, middle and an end, “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1” barely makes it to a middle point. Why not read my full review here?
1. Unbroken – (C-)
Why I was looking forward to it: With Angelina Jolie behind this film, we’ve heard about every single move this film has made since she came on board in early 2013. It’s based on an incredible true story, and was rooting for Jolie to work her magic.
Why it didn’t work: “Unbroken” is almost unbearable, it’s extremely one note, and it lacks any sort of energy, and emotion. It tells an incredible story, it looks good, but you can’t help but watch the clock and wait for it to end.
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